What have I done...

I don't want you to hate me.

I feel like I've been doing so many wrong things lately, but I've been so happy at the same time. And not only for the reason everyone is probably thinking right now. I've been busy working two jobs, being able to buy things for myself, and just enjoying being me the way I want to be.

I'm sorry for all those little wrong things that have been happening. I can't apologize enough. I hope that we're still ok. I really am sorry.



As for everything else, I'm cleaning myself up. After taking a closer look at my family history and my own personality, I've decided it's time to try something a little different. I shouldn't say this like it's a new decision really, because it's not. It started with me quitting smoking. I know it wasn't a big feat for me because I hadn't been doing it very long, but it was step one in my plan. The next step is cutting back on alcohol. Sorry, girls, I know our girls' nights are 50% alcohol, lol.

All joking aside, this is a bigger step for me because alcohol has always been kind of a casual thing with my family. After what happened this past year (and for those who don't know the story please do not ask, it's hard enough for me), I've realized that I don't want those kind of things to happen to me; now or in the future. So, I'm going to stop it while I still have the choice. What I ask of everyone is that if I say that I don't want to drink or get drunk or anything like that, please please do not try to get me to do it, or stuff like that. I have the right to say no, and I'm not saying that I will every single time, but it will be more often now. This is something I'm doing to try and keep myself happy and in well-being, not to make anyone else happy.

If anyone is really interested, step three will be physical health. My body needs to be whipped back into shape...

What's new? Well.....

Not much of anything really. Lots of packing, a little bit of job hunting, a little bit of working... lots of Jimmy. Things are generally good. I can't wait to get into our new place down by Port Place Mall. I think living with Kaitlyn is gonna be awesome and we're close to the mall and like 4 bus routes. Just... packing is annoying.



Aside from that... all I have to share is this:

Twist and Shout!

I am loving things lately. And it's been way too long since I wrote an update for this thing. Note to self: don't neglect the blog.

I'm sitting by myself in my living room with my laptop rapidly heating up my thighs, watching Ferris Beuller's Day Off on YTV (commercials and kid orientated TV hosts are irritating me) and just relaxing. It's cool to just be chill right now, since I've been doing so much the past few days, even if it was a lot of not much of anything. I love being able to have fun doing nothing, and the biggest accomplishment of the day is finding a friend you haven't seen for a couple days.

I've been starting to do good things for myself, and it's making me feel better about me. I quit smoking, I don't drink as often as I did, I'm almost starting to eat better, I've started walking more places when I can. Just a few little things to start with, but together are making me feel good. I think the next step will be to try and work down the bit of extra weight at my tummy. If I can do that, I think I would be infinitely happier with my self-image.

I think it's great that I have someone that I never stop laughing with. Everything, no matter how small the activity, is enjoyable. Even sitting awkwardly across the table from one another in a fancy restaurant in fancy clothes is hilarious and fun. The fact that I know he's having as much fun as I have been makes it that much better too.

Ever since I started doing things to make myself happy, I've been feeling better. It's not that I stopped caring about how other people are feeling or that I don't want to make others happy too, it's just that I've realized that I do need to put myself first sometimes. My own happiness is something that should be important to me, and now it is. I can bring myself back from my low spots on my own now, which is something I wasn't able to do up until a couple months ago. I actually haven't even had one for just over a month and that's really good for me.

I can't really think of anything else to write about here. I'll just go back to enjoying my awesome 80's movie!