What have I done...

I don't want you to hate me.

I feel like I've been doing so many wrong things lately, but I've been so happy at the same time. And not only for the reason everyone is probably thinking right now. I've been busy working two jobs, being able to buy things for myself, and just enjoying being me the way I want to be.

I'm sorry for all those little wrong things that have been happening. I can't apologize enough. I hope that we're still ok. I really am sorry.



As for everything else, I'm cleaning myself up. After taking a closer look at my family history and my own personality, I've decided it's time to try something a little different. I shouldn't say this like it's a new decision really, because it's not. It started with me quitting smoking. I know it wasn't a big feat for me because I hadn't been doing it very long, but it was step one in my plan. The next step is cutting back on alcohol. Sorry, girls, I know our girls' nights are 50% alcohol, lol.

All joking aside, this is a bigger step for me because alcohol has always been kind of a casual thing with my family. After what happened this past year (and for those who don't know the story please do not ask, it's hard enough for me), I've realized that I don't want those kind of things to happen to me; now or in the future. So, I'm going to stop it while I still have the choice. What I ask of everyone is that if I say that I don't want to drink or get drunk or anything like that, please please do not try to get me to do it, or stuff like that. I have the right to say no, and I'm not saying that I will every single time, but it will be more often now. This is something I'm doing to try and keep myself happy and in well-being, not to make anyone else happy.

If anyone is really interested, step three will be physical health. My body needs to be whipped back into shape...