A letter...

Israel's Son ~ silverchair

Hate is what I feel for you,
And I want you to know that I want you dead.
You're late for the execution...
If you're not here soon, I'll kill your friend instead.

All the pain I feel
Couldn't start to heal
Although I would like it to

I hate you and your apathy.
You can leave, you can leave, I don't want you here.
I'm playing this pantomime,
But I don't see you showing any signs of fear.

All the pain I feel
Couldn't start to heal
Although I would like it to

This time I'm for real
My pain can not heal
You will be dead when I'm through

Pain and execution
Put your hands in the air
Put your hands in the air
The air... yeah

I am, I am Israel's son
Israel's son I am
Put your hands in the air
Put your hands in the air

Why the fuck do I have to have a fucking time restraint on how long I can see my fucking boyfriend!? Fuck! You get to see yours every fucking day! Do you have any idea on how much that really brought me down? Fuck you! You sit there and talk to me like you fucking understand how I feel and now I know you’re fucking lying! Fuck your rules! I fucking live here too! Next time you want to do something maybe I’ll pull a fucking rule on you! Fuck! You have no fucking idea...

Finally I get to see him and out of the kindness of someone else’s fucking generosity AND MY OWN... and you bring it down with a time limit! Why don’t you try being away from yours for five minutes? Try being away for a day. Try a week. Try a FUCKING MONTH! Then you tell me if you can handle having ME tell YOU that YOU ONLY GET TWO NIGHTS TOGETHER and then be apart for another MONTH!

Try not having a cell phone. Try not having internet. Try having to pay extra for every time you use the phone. Try living away from pretty much everyone you ever knew. Try living without him for even just a week. Try not having a car. Try relying on other people to get him messages. Try going through everything we had to go through to be together! Try six years of friendship! Try nearly seven months worth of an earned relationship! Try cherishing every second you hear his voice on the phone because you don’t know when you might hear it again! TRY FUCKING ENJOYING EVERY INSTANCE YOU GET TO SEE HIM BECAUSE IT WILL BE A LONG TIME BEFORE YOU GET TO AGAIN!

Try spending everything you have just to get those two nights....


Then try doing it all again. Time after time after time.



How many days have you spent with yours? 8 and still counting.


Sorry about that guys. I had to get that out of my system. I was talking to my roommate over MSN today (she's at her boyfriend's for the night), and she told me that Andy can stay here for a maximum of two nights. I realize that he may have to go back around then anyways, but it just makes me mad that she would do that to me.